To the moms who don’t have “easy” babies, I feel you. I feel you so freaking hard.
I realize now that I entirely took for granted what a content baby my first son was. He literally just ate, slept, cuddled and repeat. It was easy. I remember his newborn stage with such fond memories: going to the movies, spending time with friends and endless baby cuddles.
My second son was not an “easy” baby. Learning to figure him out was a challenge, to say the least. He was fussy. He liked what he liked and he had no problem telling you if he didn’t. As a newborn, he was unsettled a lot of the time and it was exhausting and overwhelming trying to find something that made him content. He liked to be on the move constantly which kept me forever on my toes.
Am I Doing Something Wrong?
If he was my first baby I am certain beyond all doubt I would have taken the fussing personally. I would have assumed that I was doing something wrong. Afterall, shouldn’t a mom be able to soothe her baby? Not necessarily. Some babies are fussier than others and despite parents’ best efforts they do not settle as calmly as other babies.
Sometimes no matter how hard parents try babies will not get “milk drunk” and take a 2-3 hour nap. Or no matter what you do they will have a fussy time and be unhappy for several hours. (Most babies have a fussy time) Sometimes no matter what you do it won’t seem to do “the trick” and that is okay.
I spent hours upon hours Googling about fussy babies and how to get them to settle (I ended up finding this AMAZING FB Group for Fussy Babies). I searched and tried to figure out if it was something he would grow out of or if it was just his personality. The only thing I knew for sure was that every baby is different and while one may be easier than another, it doesn’t make them love you any less.
Learning How to Be Miller’s Mom
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish Miller would have been content like his brother because having an “easy” baby was delightful. But adjusting my expectations was key to accepting the differences between my two boys. Miller was very good at teaching me how to be HIS mother (and here I was all “cocky” thinking I knew how to be a mother already lol). I slowly but surely started to figure out what he liked and didn’t like and what calmed him and frustrated him. Our dynamic was vastly different than the early newborn days with Gibson but Miller has definitely taught me A LOT (particularly about patience lol).
So to all the other moms out there who did not have “easy” baby know that it is not your fault. Remember that you are doing a great job. And please believe and understand that you are without a doubt an amazing mother and your baby loves you (even if they don’t always show it.)